Friday, July 27, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Week 1 of being back complete ;)
Heyyyyy............
So I started back to the gym last week and I must say I am really happy that I did! I feel so good when I leave. I cannot believe that I let myself forget how good it feels to move. Well I will not harp on that, I will just keep moving forward.
Today:
I went to the gym this morning a little later than I like too because it was my first day with the trainer. I was happy that my friend was able to go with me as well. Well when we started out it was a little sore on my arms but as we got into it I just started to really enjoy it. I have a lot of work to do but I also have a lot of time to do it, I am not in a race so I have to keep that in mind. I did weigh in and I was the same weight as last week :( but I am not going to fret because I know that will start to change and believe me when it does you will know about it :)
Thinking:
So I have been approved to have Gastric Bypass and at first I was like HELL YEAH! I was thinking it was a way to get a large amount of weight off and then workout and get in shape, I started to think in my head that my work was done because I was lucky enough to have to surgery. I started to become so lazy and just do NOTHING and I mean nothing. I was eating and making excuses and then I found out that it is not just a walk in and have the surgery done kind of situation. I would still have to work hard and I would still have to change things. It was in fact no quick fix, so I started to feel even worse and then one thing led to another and I stopped caring, WELLLLLL I am over that and I am back in my right frame of mind, as far as the surgery goes, I have decided that I still want it, I need that extra help, I know I am doing it for me and I know that in my lifetime I want to do so many things, I want to run and the number one thing I want to do is take a hike with my kids! I know that this is possible with hard work and I am going to get there.................trust me, soon enough you will see me with pics and a hiking stick :)
Thank you so much for reading~
Fatgirlsaywhat!
Until next week~
V!
Monday, April 9, 2012
A quick post
Hey,
I just wanted to quick post that I forgot how good working out makes you feel, I am so happy I am getting back on track.
I will post a weekly update on Wednesday after the trainer :)
I just wanted to quick post that I forgot how good working out makes you feel, I am so happy I am getting back on track.
I will post a weekly update on Wednesday after the trainer :)
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Welcome Back.................ME!
Heyyyyyy.............
So I know this is a little shocking because I am BACK! I have been in such a loser mood and not the kind of loser that produces weight loss either. lol! I have not been blogging since October and it is safe to say I have not been working out or eating well either.............hmmmm...........where to begin?!
Here is what happen:
In October I started to stop going to weight watchers, it was partly because the cost and also because I stopped feeling like going. *TRUTH is closer to the second one* Then I stopped caring so much about how much I was eating, I stopped tracking and I stopped eating healthy foods, I cannot remember the last time I had an apple and that was my favorite snack. Well I gained back 10lbs since then :( I am bummed but I am also happy that before I gained back all my weight that I lost because that would have been TRAGIC!!! I was also afraid to get on the scale because I was thinking that when I finally did I would see that dreaded number again 400 :( I think that would have killed me. I was avoiding the scale, I was overeating, I was avoiding WW, I was smoking cigarettes and I was just a damn hot mess........What the heck?!
Now before I continue I do want to share good news, I did in that time find a wonderful job that I love so much, it is a great place for me and I am happy. Now back to the other stuff::
Realizing the truth:
Have you ever known something but pretended to be completely stupid so that you did not have to recognize it? Well I do and I did. LOL! I was just saying that I was not gaining any weight, I was not feeling like working out I was just not doing anything, I was just a freaking mess, mess mess mess......YIKES! So I was in the midst of sitting and eating and I said to myself, I swear I am going to get back on track.........well I was like I am going to do it yada yada, well then my friend was like lets meet at the gym and I PROMISED her I was going to sooooo I was like shit, I better. Well I went to meet her and I worked out and I had a feeling come over me that was one that I had felt before, it was a feeling of accomplishment and I liked that feeling. The next day I was super sore and I did not like that feeling but I knew it was a good thing, I said that is it, I am ready, I threw out the cigarettes and I said I am about to get started and soooooo this morning I went in and I started on the bike, now when I started on the bike I was like OMG my legsssss......they hurt but I pushed through and did 2 and a half miles, then I went and did some weight lifting, afterward I decided that I needed to speak to someone about what I should be doing and I decided that I would start working out with a personal trainer. SOOOooooo I started some of that today and she has told me that we will go every other day and next week I would feel the burn...............SCARY!!!!! I am looking forward to getting going and getting back on track because I am ready to lose again and I am ready to work my butt off well maybe my front lol, I don't have much ass to that I can afford to loose :)
Sooooo until next week thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!!!
So I know this is a little shocking because I am BACK! I have been in such a loser mood and not the kind of loser that produces weight loss either. lol! I have not been blogging since October and it is safe to say I have not been working out or eating well either.............hmmmm...........where to begin?!
Here is what happen:
In October I started to stop going to weight watchers, it was partly because the cost and also because I stopped feeling like going. *TRUTH is closer to the second one* Then I stopped caring so much about how much I was eating, I stopped tracking and I stopped eating healthy foods, I cannot remember the last time I had an apple and that was my favorite snack. Well I gained back 10lbs since then :( I am bummed but I am also happy that before I gained back all my weight that I lost because that would have been TRAGIC!!! I was also afraid to get on the scale because I was thinking that when I finally did I would see that dreaded number again 400 :( I think that would have killed me. I was avoiding the scale, I was overeating, I was avoiding WW, I was smoking cigarettes and I was just a damn hot mess........What the heck?!
Now before I continue I do want to share good news, I did in that time find a wonderful job that I love so much, it is a great place for me and I am happy. Now back to the other stuff::
Realizing the truth:
Have you ever known something but pretended to be completely stupid so that you did not have to recognize it? Well I do and I did. LOL! I was just saying that I was not gaining any weight, I was not feeling like working out I was just not doing anything, I was just a freaking mess, mess mess mess......YIKES! So I was in the midst of sitting and eating and I said to myself, I swear I am going to get back on track.........well I was like I am going to do it yada yada, well then my friend was like lets meet at the gym and I PROMISED her I was going to sooooo I was like shit, I better. Well I went to meet her and I worked out and I had a feeling come over me that was one that I had felt before, it was a feeling of accomplishment and I liked that feeling. The next day I was super sore and I did not like that feeling but I knew it was a good thing, I said that is it, I am ready, I threw out the cigarettes and I said I am about to get started and soooooo this morning I went in and I started on the bike, now when I started on the bike I was like OMG my legsssss......they hurt but I pushed through and did 2 and a half miles, then I went and did some weight lifting, afterward I decided that I needed to speak to someone about what I should be doing and I decided that I would start working out with a personal trainer. SOOOooooo I started some of that today and she has told me that we will go every other day and next week I would feel the burn...............SCARY!!!!! I am looking forward to getting going and getting back on track because I am ready to lose again and I am ready to work my butt off well maybe my front lol, I don't have much ass to that I can afford to loose :)
Sooooo until next week thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!!!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Whoaaaa...........I fell off!
Hey everyone:
So I completely fell off. I stopped tracking stopped working out stopped caring about WW! BIG MISTAKE! I gained about 5lbs, I feel like a goof! I mean I know that I have a long way to go and I also know that I have come a long way but for whatever reason I just stopped feeling like being on the plan. Here is the gist:
So back in September Nikki told me that she was going to have to take a break from WW for her own personal reasons, right away I started to think in my head "Oh shit, I cannot do this without her" well I just was looking for a good excuse and that was as good as any, so I was off and running *not really* lol! Well I started to say stupid things to myself like "oh you lost 50lbs" yada yada, so I was thinking I understand the plan, I can kind of go through the day and just "watch" what I am eating. Hmmmpphhhh...........That did not work, partly because you cannot watch what you are eating without tracking and MOSTLY because I also decided to "relax" on working out. Now I am not sure why the hell I would assume that I could not workout, this is the part that I am most unsure of lol! So anyway I started to not workout I kept saying in my head, well you can just get back to it next week so on and so on, Well Weigh-In started to feel like a chore to me, I was dreading going and I was just being a total crab cake. Well I feel like my mood was another part of my lack of success, I mean the other two things did not help but I really feel like my lack of care for myself made it that much more worse. I was not wanting to be apart of the meetings because I did not want to accept responsibility for my actions. Annnnyyyyyyywaaayyyyy lets fast forward to yesterday, I knew when I went in I was going to be up, so my reaction was almost comic like, so I get to the meeting, I was late! I go in and I see Brenda and she is in a good mood but because I am being a BITCH I am all kinds of crabby so I get on the scale and it is up 2.2lbs so I am like I am outta here, I left. I was in my car and I was sitting there and I was really thinking to myself, "You should go to Arby's" then I said boy you are really stupid, I mean I am mad because I gained but I am going to go eat, I laughed about that, then I said I look crazy sitting here laughing to myself, so I said I am going to go to the gym, I mean I have been paying for it EVERY month and I had been just letting it sit there well I drove myself to Fitness 19 and I jumped on the bike and rode 12.60 miles I lifted 90lbs for 3 reps of 12 and I FELT great :) Then this morning I got up and I said I am making my way to the gym before I do anything else and I went and I did 10 miles ;) I feel so good, I am tracking tracking and measuring and I feel so good, I am feeling like I am ready to be back on track and here I am back to my blog, I am sorry for slacking but I am happy to have that bad set back because I needed to get myself together, I want to be at 75lbs by Jan 8th 2012 :) I am going to be great and I am ready to make that happen :)
Until Next Time,
Thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
50 is Nifty!
Hey all ;)
I know I have been being so lazy when it comes to blogging, I don't think it is because I don't want to as much as I really have not had much to say! SHOCKER! But even I run out of things to talk about...............BUT SUCH IS NOT THE CASE THIS WEEK :)
Let me just do a quick update: The month of August had been so crazy, I started off on a sour note with gains and lack of motivation and then I got into the groove and I started to loose again, and then out of nowhere I gained 5.8lbs in one week! HOLY SHIT! Alright, I am posting pics with this and they are backwards, I assume everyone can figure it out ;) Anyway after this gain I was like well no biggie because I was going to get my stupid lady time, and so I assume that was the problem, also Mary and I had done Spin class *CRAZY IDEA* and also started Zumba with the wonderful ladies from WW and so I had also thought it could be muscle, well I am almost convince that my whole stomach might be a GIGANTIC 20 pack :) LOL! Not really! So anyway, I was not upset at this point because I had about 5 good reasons for gains, well when I went home I realized that I was indeed upset, but I did not realize it until after the fact, I came home and I started my "it's my period" so I can eat a whole chocolate person if I feel like it crap, so I did! Middle of the night Swiss cake rolls, nutty bars, crackers (they are not even chocolate) and brownies. FREAKING Little Debbie. At this point I was still on my period so this was "alright". I was even saying it is not a big deal because of this. Well next Saturday came and I was doing the "I don't even care about this week" attitude because I knew that I ate what I wanted, I did do Zumba though :) So I was giving myself props for that. Get to weigh-in, and GUESS WHAT I was up! Here is a pic. it was like .4 but either way it was up!
So here I had went from being at this point where I was at a weight I had not seen since before Charleigh was born to being back at 59 points plus values. I felt like a loser and not in the way I wanted too. So I was like I am going to get my shit together and I am going to get down to where I need to be again. Well I did KINDA! I knew that I was bloated *this was a fact* I mean it WAS! so that was in my favor, but I also knew that I had to pipe down on the food and pipe up on the tracking, I mean really how the hell am I going to get to my goal * I don't really have one but I know I am not there* with this behavior. So anyway, I got back on the wagon and this week it proved to be a good trip! Here is my new sticker :) I am officially smaller then I was when I got knocked up with Charleigh ;) Hehe! I weigh 373.4lbs That is 50lbs guys 50LBS! I can not believe it :) I got my key charm, but the best feeling is my girls from my group, they make me feel like a rockstar,I have never felt so much love and excitement for me in my life :) I love them all so much and love sharing my success with them so much :) I could NOT do it without these women and men *there are two of them that are there on a reg.* So anyway that is that here is the new sticker and a pic of all my 5lb stars :) I am happy as a prostitute on payday! lol!
PS: My birthday is coming up :) Almost 30! I can not WAIT to be 30!
Until next time *it will be sooner then later*
thanks for reading fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
I know I have been being so lazy when it comes to blogging, I don't think it is because I don't want to as much as I really have not had much to say! SHOCKER! But even I run out of things to talk about...............BUT SUCH IS NOT THE CASE THIS WEEK :)
Until next time *it will be sooner then later*
thanks for reading fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Saturday, August 6, 2011
The Power of a Depressed Week!
Hi all :)
Today was weigh-in and I have to tell you all, I did not participate, I was not in the mood for weigh-in and it was purely because I knew that the results would suck big time.
I have had a different kind of week, My mom was sick (not an excuse) but it was worrying me, it did not worry me to eat but it was on my mind, aside from that I have been feeling really depressed this week, I am not sure what is causing this, I feel emotionally upset, like I could boohoo for no reason, this is not new for me but I don't like it none the less, I am just having a bad week, to top things off the gift that is Mother Nature has come into my life :( STUPID!
I don't know about anyone else but I have a really hard time controlling my cravings during this time of the month. I just want to eat a whole chocolate car, I mean if I could make one that would taste good I think I would take a chance. So anyway these things have all contributed to my shitty week, also the fact that I have not done and real exercise and that I have been eating like I forgot I was on WW, I mean I am within points but I am a firm believer in if you stay within points but eat like shit it still won't make a difference, such is the case this week. BOO!
The real question is not how much can I whine about my shitty week, but what the heck I am going to do about it, well funny you should ask.
1st: I am accepting this week *I am good at that part*
2nd: I am going to ask myself to "keep it real" and stop the bullshit ass excuses, I mean if I want to eat 3 pcs of chocolate cake then I have to accept that and know that I have to work it off or deal with the outcome.
3rd: GET UP AND GET MOVING, another thing I have to stop excuse making with, I need to get my LAZY butt up and work-out, I am not going to lose by wishing, I know I TRIED! lol, I am going to Zumba this week with Mary and the rest of my wonderful friends from WW.
4th: I am going back to church, I have been in "limbo" with church but it is time that I just get back to where I know I want to be, I love church and I don't know why I stopped going, I feel like for me and I am not trying to say for anyone else but for me it makes a world of difference :)
5th: Put-up time!!!! I need to give myself some love. I need to do my hair, maybe get an outfit, maybe give myself a hug, I don't know but what I do know is I need to give it to me and I am going to give it to me good! lol!
Anyway, I hope for a better week next week and I thank you guys for reading my I feel sorry for me shitty week blog :)
until next time, thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Today was weigh-in and I have to tell you all, I did not participate, I was not in the mood for weigh-in and it was purely because I knew that the results would suck big time.
I have had a different kind of week, My mom was sick (not an excuse) but it was worrying me, it did not worry me to eat but it was on my mind, aside from that I have been feeling really depressed this week, I am not sure what is causing this, I feel emotionally upset, like I could boohoo for no reason, this is not new for me but I don't like it none the less, I am just having a bad week, to top things off the gift that is Mother Nature has come into my life :( STUPID!
I don't know about anyone else but I have a really hard time controlling my cravings during this time of the month. I just want to eat a whole chocolate car, I mean if I could make one that would taste good I think I would take a chance. So anyway these things have all contributed to my shitty week, also the fact that I have not done and real exercise and that I have been eating like I forgot I was on WW, I mean I am within points but I am a firm believer in if you stay within points but eat like shit it still won't make a difference, such is the case this week. BOO!
The real question is not how much can I whine about my shitty week, but what the heck I am going to do about it, well funny you should ask.
1st: I am accepting this week *I am good at that part*
2nd: I am going to ask myself to "keep it real" and stop the bullshit ass excuses, I mean if I want to eat 3 pcs of chocolate cake then I have to accept that and know that I have to work it off or deal with the outcome.
3rd: GET UP AND GET MOVING, another thing I have to stop excuse making with, I need to get my LAZY butt up and work-out, I am not going to lose by wishing, I know I TRIED! lol, I am going to Zumba this week with Mary and the rest of my wonderful friends from WW.
4th: I am going back to church, I have been in "limbo" with church but it is time that I just get back to where I know I want to be, I love church and I don't know why I stopped going, I feel like for me and I am not trying to say for anyone else but for me it makes a world of difference :)
5th: Put-up time!!!! I need to give myself some love. I need to do my hair, maybe get an outfit, maybe give myself a hug, I don't know but what I do know is I need to give it to me and I am going to give it to me good! lol!
Anyway, I hope for a better week next week and I thank you guys for reading my I feel sorry for me shitty week blog :)
until next time, thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
A couple of new pics!
I will post a couple of pics before and after to see if we can tell the difference :)
I can see change :) I am not where I want to be but I am happy I am on my way!
Goodbye 80's Hello 70's :)
Hello!
So I am very happy to say that I am officially out of the 80's :) WOOT WOOT!
I went to weigh-in today and I lost 2.2lbs bringing my total weight loss to 45lbs :) I am currently 378.4lbs and I am happy that I am out of them 80's, I am almost to a mini goal that I set for myself which is 375, I was 375lbs when I had Charleigh and I know that is not skinny by any means but I would just like to be there again and then leave it quickly :)
Before I go on let me say that my PIC Nikki was not at weigh-in today to celebrate with me, she was in Las Vegas cheering on her champion cheerleader Raven! She is a mommy first and so I would much rather see her and her beautiful family there supporting there daughter/sister then to be with me at weigh-in, but I have to tell you I did miss her :( Not the same without her at all.
Alright so here we go, I was thinking to myself today during weigh-in and after about the 45lbs that I lost and I swear I don't remember those 45lbs on me, and sometimes I look at myself and even though I have lost that much weight I still feel horrible sometimes about myself, I look at pics and I still think GROSS! But I know that I am still working and one of these days I will look at a pic of me and smile and be like wow! that is change. One thing I have to remind myself all the time is that I am lighter and imagine if I still had that weight on me the pics would look even worse to me, so for that I am grateful :) I am happy with the results this week, and I am looking forward to seeing results next week as well :) I am almost at 50lbs and that will be a grand day!
I have plans to keep working this week and trying, and I also lost 1 points plus value! That is sweeeetttttt............yeah! So yeah that is all for this one.
Until next week, thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
PS: I have only stopped adding my photo because I always leave my purse with my book in another room but next week I WILL make sure I post it :)
So I am very happy to say that I am officially out of the 80's :) WOOT WOOT!
I went to weigh-in today and I lost 2.2lbs bringing my total weight loss to 45lbs :) I am currently 378.4lbs and I am happy that I am out of them 80's, I am almost to a mini goal that I set for myself which is 375, I was 375lbs when I had Charleigh and I know that is not skinny by any means but I would just like to be there again and then leave it quickly :)
Before I go on let me say that my PIC Nikki was not at weigh-in today to celebrate with me, she was in Las Vegas cheering on her champion cheerleader Raven! She is a mommy first and so I would much rather see her and her beautiful family there supporting there daughter/sister then to be with me at weigh-in, but I have to tell you I did miss her :( Not the same without her at all.
Alright so here we go, I was thinking to myself today during weigh-in and after about the 45lbs that I lost and I swear I don't remember those 45lbs on me, and sometimes I look at myself and even though I have lost that much weight I still feel horrible sometimes about myself, I look at pics and I still think GROSS! But I know that I am still working and one of these days I will look at a pic of me and smile and be like wow! that is change. One thing I have to remind myself all the time is that I am lighter and imagine if I still had that weight on me the pics would look even worse to me, so for that I am grateful :) I am happy with the results this week, and I am looking forward to seeing results next week as well :) I am almost at 50lbs and that will be a grand day!
I have plans to keep working this week and trying, and I also lost 1 points plus value! That is sweeeetttttt............yeah! So yeah that is all for this one.
Until next week, thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
PS: I have only stopped adding my photo because I always leave my purse with my book in another room but next week I WILL make sure I post it :)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Back To Life.......Back To Reality!
Hey everyone,
So I have been a blogging bs'er :( SORRY!
So here I am ready to update and get back on track.
We went to weigh-in on Saturday and I stayed the same 380.6! I was not happy and I was not mad but I was disappointed because I know that I have not been doing my best, I mean if I were doing my best I would be so much more closer to my goal. I am almost another 16 weeks in and I have only lost about 5lbs :( I lost 35 lbs in the last 16 weeks. I feel like an idiot, I am paying for WW every month, I am paying 40$ to go and listen to the meeting (which I enjoy very much) but at the same time, I am not using my skills like I should. I have not been working out and I have started to slack on my tracking.
I have always been upfront with myself and the people who read this about my crap and I am not going to stop now, I have been terrible at tracking, guessing and not using my messuring spoons when it is time to make my plate, just eye balling things.
Well yesterday when we went to weigh-in, I came home and I told Chuck about it, and I said "I am so sick of staying at the same weight!" and he said to me "well what do you expect? You have given up on your self, you stop going to the gym and working out that is what is going to happen" Now after he said this I thought to myself HOW DARE HE? But you know what how dare he not, I mean that is what he should do, I needed him to call me out on my shit. He did not say it to hurt me, he did not point out the fact that we have had snickers that "disapered" from the house. No, he just told me what was VERY true, I was giving up on myself. So I got on the phone and I called fitness 19 and I asked them what I have to do to come back and they let me know that I just needed to pay my 18$ balance and I could get back to business. Well I am going to pay on Wednesday, and I am BACK there, in the meantime I will workout here at the house, I already started this morning with my manual treadmill :) I feel better already. I am going to stop giving up on myself and start remembering that I can do this.
Nikki:
So Nik is doing well, she is almost at her 10% and I am really proud of her, she has been dong water aerobics in her family pool ;) LUCKY! And yesterday she wore a shirt that I got for her when we first started WW and she looked like she was swimming in it :) YOU GO GIRL! lol! So she is doing well, and is off to Vegas. I will miss my WW buddy while she is gone but I am hoping that we both have some good number news to share with each other when she gets back :)
So yeah, that is that. I am going to make sure I work hard all this week and get my booty back into the gym and remember that I can and will lose more weight :)
Thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
So I have been a blogging bs'er :( SORRY!
So here I am ready to update and get back on track.
We went to weigh-in on Saturday and I stayed the same 380.6! I was not happy and I was not mad but I was disappointed because I know that I have not been doing my best, I mean if I were doing my best I would be so much more closer to my goal. I am almost another 16 weeks in and I have only lost about 5lbs :( I lost 35 lbs in the last 16 weeks. I feel like an idiot, I am paying for WW every month, I am paying 40$ to go and listen to the meeting (which I enjoy very much) but at the same time, I am not using my skills like I should. I have not been working out and I have started to slack on my tracking.
I have always been upfront with myself and the people who read this about my crap and I am not going to stop now, I have been terrible at tracking, guessing and not using my messuring spoons when it is time to make my plate, just eye balling things.
Well yesterday when we went to weigh-in, I came home and I told Chuck about it, and I said "I am so sick of staying at the same weight!" and he said to me "well what do you expect? You have given up on your self, you stop going to the gym and working out that is what is going to happen" Now after he said this I thought to myself HOW DARE HE? But you know what how dare he not, I mean that is what he should do, I needed him to call me out on my shit. He did not say it to hurt me, he did not point out the fact that we have had snickers that "disapered" from the house. No, he just told me what was VERY true, I was giving up on myself. So I got on the phone and I called fitness 19 and I asked them what I have to do to come back and they let me know that I just needed to pay my 18$ balance and I could get back to business. Well I am going to pay on Wednesday, and I am BACK there, in the meantime I will workout here at the house, I already started this morning with my manual treadmill :) I feel better already. I am going to stop giving up on myself and start remembering that I can do this.
Nikki:
So Nik is doing well, she is almost at her 10% and I am really proud of her, she has been dong water aerobics in her family pool ;) LUCKY! And yesterday she wore a shirt that I got for her when we first started WW and she looked like she was swimming in it :) YOU GO GIRL! lol! So she is doing well, and is off to Vegas. I will miss my WW buddy while she is gone but I am hoping that we both have some good number news to share with each other when she gets back :)
So yeah, that is that. I am going to make sure I work hard all this week and get my booty back into the gym and remember that I can and will lose more weight :)
Thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Say what............Say PUT UPS!
Hey everyone :)
So yesterday was weigh-in, and it was just a alright one, I did not gain I just stayed the same. Nikki lost a little over a pound :) WHOOP WHOOP! Go girl!!!!!
So I weigh-in at 382.8 Huhhhhhhhhhhh.............Well I would like that number to change uh....SOON!
Anyway, while we were sitting in our meeting with the amazing Dawn! She was asking what would we like to have magically appear in our lives, and three was a good list, personal chef, personal trainer, constant motivation and confidence.
I would love all of those handed to me on a silver platter ;) But the one that that was on the list that I can give myself all the time was something I said which was motivation. I was sitting in the meeting thinking about how with my girls I make them respect each other and remember the good things about each other and I thought to myself, hmmm.......HOW CAN I PREACH IT WHEN I DON"T PRACTICE IT? I thought about a little thing that the girls do which is called "put ups".
Put ups mean giving two good compliments for every one neg. thing you say about someone else, but I thought why not give them to ourselves for the neg things we say about our own personal self. I think that it is safe to say that we spend a lot of time harping on our "faults" but why not pump up are greatness???? So I think that I will and I hope that you will too.
I started yesterday after weigh-in, I was all day just going ugh...........you really suck for not working out etc etc.....But I stopped and I said to myself, here is a chance to do two things, 1, change the fact that I did not work out and 2, remember 2 things that I did do that made me feel good. Well slap me and call me hooker, it WORKED! I sat here at almost 11pm and then I said you know what "I am going to get my ass up and get in that living room and walk with Leslie" I did and I felt AMAZING! I mean I was going to do the 2 mile walk but I did not, I mean hell I am not trying to win the race first I am just trying to finish :) lol! I am going to work my way up to the 2 mile walk. So then it was time for my put-ups and I wanted to use something good, I did not want to say "oh you worked out" I mean duh.......I had just did it! lol!
So I started to think...............PUT UPS............OH PUT UPS.............I thought of these two:
1: I take responsibility for my food actions.
2: I never give up on people and I am learning to never give up on me.
So here they are...........I like them. I am going to put myself up everyday, and I am going to make a list one with my "put-downs" and then a list with my put-ups and I am going to work on ways to change those things and to elevate the other things.
What do you guys think? What are your put-ups? Maybe a list would work for all of us????
So yeah, if you want to leave your thoughts, I would love to read them.
Until next time...........thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
So yesterday was weigh-in, and it was just a alright one, I did not gain I just stayed the same. Nikki lost a little over a pound :) WHOOP WHOOP! Go girl!!!!!
So I weigh-in at 382.8 Huhhhhhhhhhhh.............Well I would like that number to change uh....SOON!
Anyway, while we were sitting in our meeting with the amazing Dawn! She was asking what would we like to have magically appear in our lives, and three was a good list, personal chef, personal trainer, constant motivation and confidence.
I would love all of those handed to me on a silver platter ;) But the one that that was on the list that I can give myself all the time was something I said which was motivation. I was sitting in the meeting thinking about how with my girls I make them respect each other and remember the good things about each other and I thought to myself, hmmm.......HOW CAN I PREACH IT WHEN I DON"T PRACTICE IT? I thought about a little thing that the girls do which is called "put ups".
Put ups mean giving two good compliments for every one neg. thing you say about someone else, but I thought why not give them to ourselves for the neg things we say about our own personal self. I think that it is safe to say that we spend a lot of time harping on our "faults" but why not pump up are greatness???? So I think that I will and I hope that you will too.
I started yesterday after weigh-in, I was all day just going ugh...........you really suck for not working out etc etc.....But I stopped and I said to myself, here is a chance to do two things, 1, change the fact that I did not work out and 2, remember 2 things that I did do that made me feel good. Well slap me and call me hooker, it WORKED! I sat here at almost 11pm and then I said you know what "I am going to get my ass up and get in that living room and walk with Leslie" I did and I felt AMAZING! I mean I was going to do the 2 mile walk but I did not, I mean hell I am not trying to win the race first I am just trying to finish :) lol! I am going to work my way up to the 2 mile walk. So then it was time for my put-ups and I wanted to use something good, I did not want to say "oh you worked out" I mean duh.......I had just did it! lol!
So I started to think...............PUT UPS............OH PUT UPS.............I thought of these two:
1: I take responsibility for my food actions.
2: I never give up on people and I am learning to never give up on me.
So here they are...........I like them. I am going to put myself up everyday, and I am going to make a list one with my "put-downs" and then a list with my put-ups and I am going to work on ways to change those things and to elevate the other things.
What do you guys think? What are your put-ups? Maybe a list would work for all of us????
So yeah, if you want to leave your thoughts, I would love to read them.
Until next time...........thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Thinking.................Watch out!
Hey,
So I was just sitting here and I was thinking "shit I have been totally fucking up":( I am not sure what happens in my mind that makes me get the urge to give up on me but something does, I imagine that it is this other Valencia, one that says "hey, you can not do it, you know you want to eat that, you should eat it anyway just because it is good"! That me is so lame, I mean she is a freakin butt face! I am resorting to child like name calling because I am officially acting like a baby! I am whining and I am throwing a fit in my mind, because I am PISSED I am so mad that I can not be one of those people who feels like working out is "DaBomb" *also resorting to 80's catch phrases* I don't like the thought of working out but once I start I am happy and I feel damn good. I don't have the power to make myself do it, I mean I do, but I don't force that power.
This week I have done somethings that I will not post about right now, because I am not ready to share them, but I imagine that one day I will seeing as how, I can never keep a secret about myself longer then a second, but for now, I am not ready to post. Anyway, I have had a stupid week, not one of over-eating but one of under-loving! I hope that makes sense. I have not loved myself in 2 weeks :( I have been eating like a loser and I have been working out like a.................OH SHIT I have not been working out, well unless you count my mouth which I am sure does not count! *Sorry Chuck* lol! Gotta have some humor. Anyway, I was thinking about how far I have come and the good feelings I feel when I make it to a goal and how much time I have put into this and I just keep saying you go this yada yada yada! I don't know if I really do, but I am really trying to believe it. I have been thinking about the GP (Gastric Bypass) I kinda want to do it because it is just a helpful tool to get myself down to my goal, which in my mind for me is about 200lbs, I remember that weight and I loved it! Anyway I have a doctor appointment tomorrow and I am going to ask him about it. I almost feel like a loser typing this because I mean, I am all "ohhhh...........I want GP...........I don't want to work hard" but the truth is, I don't want to give up on myself and I feel like if I get this done I will be here for my kids, I will be able to be healthy and maybe just maybe 100% happy, maybe I can get off my "happy meds" because in "real life" I will be happy?! Maybe.......................Hmmmmmmmm............one can hope. I do think that it would help, and the bottom line is when I sit here and I think about my kids and how far I have to go to get to a living weight I sometimes *now is one of those times* feel like it is a million miles away.
Anywho, like I said this was going to be a cry baby post so if you for whatever reason let yourself get to the end of this, then thank you and if you did not then you did not read this so Fuck off! lol! I can say that because the people who did not get here won't see it anyway.
So yeah, thanks friends!
Until next time
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
It's that time...........YUCKY WEIGH IN!
Hey ya'll!
So here we are June 25th, we went to weigh-in this morning I have to say right off top it was not the most successful weigh in of my life. Before I go on let me go back.
Last week Saturday I did not gain or lose I just stayed the same. I was happy about that because I was like well at least I maintained. YADA YADA! Anyway I was not feeling one way or the other I was just going to go on about my week. I started out completly WRONG I was not tracking like I should have been, I did not write down everything I ate on Saturday and to add fuel to the fire or butter to the pancakes, whatever you pleasure, I went out drinking with my two besties! Oh Saturday, of course after the bar I ate a blueberry donut and then the next day was Father's Day and lets just say that I did not track then either.............This went on for the rest of the week, I went to Maggie Moo's, Taco Bell, Burger King, Chinese and Arby's. I guess it is safe to say I was not starving. lol! Anyway here we are at Saturday. I got on the scale after telling myself I would NOT weigh-in, I could not bring myself to not do it, I would have felt like an even bigger loser if I did not. So anyway I get weighed in and I gained 4 lbs :( I was not shocked, but I was and am VERY DISAPPOINTED in myself. I know in my heart I really want this I want it so bad, but sometimes it is so hard for me to be in control of the person inside of me, who say's give up, stop trying and hey look at that cake! She is alive and she is still got a lot of life in her, she can make me feel like a million bucks or 1/2 penny, I know that the person inside me that I used to be is trying so hard to get back in control of me of my life, I just have to figure out a way to have fun and celebrate life without food. I need to stop thinking about how hard this is and start thinking about how hard it is to be so big and how it feels to no love yourself. I know what I need to do and this week I will be back and I will be better. Or at least healthier :)
So here we are June 25th, we went to weigh-in this morning I have to say right off top it was not the most successful weigh in of my life. Before I go on let me go back.
Last week Saturday I did not gain or lose I just stayed the same. I was happy about that because I was like well at least I maintained. YADA YADA! Anyway I was not feeling one way or the other I was just going to go on about my week. I started out completly WRONG I was not tracking like I should have been, I did not write down everything I ate on Saturday and to add fuel to the fire or butter to the pancakes, whatever you pleasure, I went out drinking with my two besties! Oh Saturday, of course after the bar I ate a blueberry donut and then the next day was Father's Day and lets just say that I did not track then either.............This went on for the rest of the week, I went to Maggie Moo's, Taco Bell, Burger King, Chinese and Arby's. I guess it is safe to say I was not starving. lol! Anyway here we are at Saturday. I got on the scale after telling myself I would NOT weigh-in, I could not bring myself to not do it, I would have felt like an even bigger loser if I did not. So anyway I get weighed in and I gained 4 lbs :( I was not shocked, but I was and am VERY DISAPPOINTED in myself. I know in my heart I really want this I want it so bad, but sometimes it is so hard for me to be in control of the person inside of me, who say's give up, stop trying and hey look at that cake! She is alive and she is still got a lot of life in her, she can make me feel like a million bucks or 1/2 penny, I know that the person inside me that I used to be is trying so hard to get back in control of me of my life, I just have to figure out a way to have fun and celebrate life without food. I need to stop thinking about how hard this is and start thinking about how hard it is to be so big and how it feels to no love yourself. I know what I need to do and this week I will be back and I will be better. Or at least healthier :)
Saturday, June 11, 2011
~**TEN TEN TEN**~
Hey everyone:
I am so excited to be posting this blog today, I am really happy to say that after 6 months and 3 days I have made it to my 10% I am so excited, I am so proud and I am more then that soooo grateful, I have been so unbelievably lucky to have found an ahmahzing support system!
Weight Watchers Jenison Saturday morning group is great, I have made so many friends there, I feel like when I go there I am with a group of people who have known me forever, it is not even the fact that they laugh at my craziness but it is the fact that they are all there for the same reason and each person wants to see the other do well, it is so fun and warm and welcoming :) I am soooo lucky to be apart of it! Dawn is the best leader EVER she is so funny and she makes meetings worth waking up for :)
And then there is Nikki, I mean if you read this blog then you are well aware that I think she is the bee's knees! She is the number one reason I am at WW jenison group, she introduced me to that group and for that I am greatful! Man I am one lucky lady! Great friends and supporters makes for a great weight loss journey!
When I first started I swear on a stack of IHOP pancakes I did not think I would get to my 10% it seemed so far away, I mean shit I was just hoping to lose 5 or 10lbs and I was going to be happy and then I lost 5% and I was like this is very possible I might be able to do it, so today when I got up this morning I was thinking about weigh in and I was nervous because I always am, and I was like well I am going to hit up the gym first, and so I went to Fitness 19 and I did 2 miles on the bike and then I got outta there and I was thinking to myself, I sure hope that helps! lmao! I had been having a bloated week, I was having my stupid period and so I was really worried and because I was on I did not want to workout so I was sure it would back fire, but it did not! Today when I went in a got on the scale I was like SHUT THE FUCK UP! I mean I really said that, these sweet women prob. want to cringe at my potty mouth but I was just so happy! They all cheered and let me give my little speech and talk about Nikki and how much all of them have helped me, I love them ladies! So yeah that is it! Here I am 10% of my weight gone and almost out of the 80's and into the 70's what what!!!! Here are some pics :) Me with my golden key chain and then my weigh in sticker.
Thanks so much for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
I am so excited to be posting this blog today, I am really happy to say that after 6 months and 3 days I have made it to my 10% I am so excited, I am so proud and I am more then that soooo grateful, I have been so unbelievably lucky to have found an ahmahzing support system!
Weight Watchers Jenison Saturday morning group is great, I have made so many friends there, I feel like when I go there I am with a group of people who have known me forever, it is not even the fact that they laugh at my craziness but it is the fact that they are all there for the same reason and each person wants to see the other do well, it is so fun and warm and welcoming :) I am soooo lucky to be apart of it! Dawn is the best leader EVER she is so funny and she makes meetings worth waking up for :)
And then there is Nikki, I mean if you read this blog then you are well aware that I think she is the bee's knees! She is the number one reason I am at WW jenison group, she introduced me to that group and for that I am greatful! Man I am one lucky lady! Great friends and supporters makes for a great weight loss journey!
When I first started I swear on a stack of IHOP pancakes I did not think I would get to my 10% it seemed so far away, I mean shit I was just hoping to lose 5 or 10lbs and I was going to be happy and then I lost 5% and I was like this is very possible I might be able to do it, so today when I got up this morning I was thinking about weigh in and I was nervous because I always am, and I was like well I am going to hit up the gym first, and so I went to Fitness 19 and I did 2 miles on the bike and then I got outta there and I was thinking to myself, I sure hope that helps! lmao! I had been having a bloated week, I was having my stupid period and so I was really worried and because I was on I did not want to workout so I was sure it would back fire, but it did not! Today when I went in a got on the scale I was like SHUT THE FUCK UP! I mean I really said that, these sweet women prob. want to cringe at my potty mouth but I was just so happy! They all cheered and let me give my little speech and talk about Nikki and how much all of them have helped me, I love them ladies! So yeah that is it! Here I am 10% of my weight gone and almost out of the 80's and into the 70's what what!!!! Here are some pics :) Me with my golden key chain and then my weigh in sticker.
Thanks so much for reading
Saturday, May 28, 2011
I am a gym member :)
Hey ya'll,
So here it is Saturday and like I said I would I am posting so I am keeping my word ;)
Lets see, as you can see by my title, I have officially joined a gym! I am soooooo excited to join because I will have an opportunity to try out lots of different machines and get a really good total body workout! *That was funny to me for me to say that*
I decided after really not much thinking at all to join Fitness 19! The price was right and so it was the spot for me, they have a lot of clean equipment and they have a daycare so I have zero excuse for not going out and getting my sweat on, well I am sure I could come up with something but I will not!
Let's talk about................WEIGH-IN! *Pervs* So I was really happy today to be down, I was down 4.6lb which made my total 38.2 lbs gone :) I am so happy to back in the losing game, I just want to get this weight off me and I know it is not going to happen over night but damn by night two I should be skinny! lol! just kidding I am willing to work for it but I have to say last week was one of the hardest weeks EVER for me, I just really wanted to give up, I did not want to loose anymore I did not want to try anymore, but then I got a postcard in the mail from my WW leader Dawn who just reminded me that I am worth it, I am worth all of the work and I am able to be a winner in this weight loss race, I was so touched to receive that post card she was thinking about me, me someone else was so I knew I had to be thinking about me also. I am thinking now, about me, I am back on track and I am going to get to my 10% and then other goals from there, I just needed to remind myself of all the things I have done and thankfully Nikki was in my ear reminding me as well, we are a team and I remember that I mean how dare I want to quit? She did not give up on me one time, she walked she talked she listened and even when she had bad weeks she did not once utter the words quit! I will never say that again, I will not quit on me and I damn sure won't quit on Nikki! So as far as the number game goes I weigh 385.2 for a total of 38.2lbs gone ;) that makes me happy! I also went down a points plus value 58 pts a day now, however I have decided to try the old Core plan which is not called the Simply Filling plan, all you do is eat power foods and you can eat as many as you need to fill full and then you can also if you must use your weekly breakdown points which is 49 so that you can fill that craving you might have, I mean it is a win win! So I am looking forward to trying this for a couple weeks to see how I do, I am hopeful that it will be successful.
I figure that plan and my new gym plan and I will be feeling pretty darn good. I got my very own GTL going on, Gym, Tracking, Losing! Oh YEAH!
Until next week my friends,
Thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Hey y'all,
So I have not been in the blogging mood, I am sure it is because in all honesty I am sure it is because I have not been following the plan like I should be :( I am not sure what got into me, I mean I was all ready Freddy and really it seemed that I was made for this program and then all of a sudden I started to get that feeling like "you got this, you can handle eating and not tracking every single thing" BIG MISTAKE! I have been up 3.8lbs lost 3 just to turn around and gain 2.8 back, what the heck?
Well I mean it ain't that hard to figure out I am sure it has something to do with the 8 pack of fun size snickers that I had or maybe the late night Keebler Club cracker binges I went on or hell maybe the lack of exercise, I have a feeling that all of the above could have something to do with it.
Well I have to tell you I went to my meeting last weekend and I did my weigh in and because it was the walk-it challenge day I wanted to keep up a brave face, I wanted to be happy I wanted to be ready to walk and prove that I could finish a 5K because god knows I had never tried one in the past, but to be honest in my heart I was crying, yelling and insulting myself, WHY WHY WHY and HOW HOW HOW could I let myself do this I was on a role, I was moving and shaking, I was changing, I mean I was the life of the party, I was the one who was going through with no problem, yeah that was me but here I was again, fat, tired, angry sad and even more so ashamed ASHAMED! I was again me the me I know the me I don't love the me who can not just eat one because that makes sense nooooo I have to have 9 because that just taste better and then they are gone and I don't have to see them again. What a shame, What a shame. Well I walked the 5K, I walked it with one of my favorite people and the whole time my mind was on the fact that I was back to square one in my mind, back to super fat and super stupid me, I could not focus on the fact that while I was beating myself up I was walking, walking and yup more walking! Nikki was so great she was looking back and offering me lots of encouragement, praise and she would even slow down so this big person could keep up, she was my legs, she was my cheerleader, she was my friend because god knows I was not being a friend to myself. Well I pushed on, I thought about the fact that I was almost 400lbs and here I was walking, I thought about the fact that I would rather drop dead at the finish line then to be the last one done, the fact that Nikki was there and she was not going to finish without me, I wanted to cry because the truth was I wanted to stop walking I wanted to stop and take a break I wanted to stop at the damn half way point and drink some water and get my barrings, I mean I could have and she would have understood because that is how she is, but I did not want to give myself one more thing to say that I did NOT do, so on I went. Half way let me tell you felt like the whole damn way, I am almost certin that it was over half! lol! But we passed it and I watched my chance at rest go away, moving on..........I remember when we made it back to the street we started on and Nikki said to me, see we are almost done you are doing so good, I wanted to tell her that I could not walk another step but she was smiling and talking about anything but that damn walk so I shut-up and I acted like I was listening (sorry Nik) inside I was thinking FINISH LINE PLEASE! So we started to approach the finish line and they were waiting there with the sign and Nikki says come one lets just jog through and so we did and I felt like a weight was off me, I was so tired I was so sore and I was so happy, WE DID IT! She was the best thing to me at that point someone who wanted to see me do it more then I wanted to, she believed in me and I did not, she was like a proud mama *she ought to know she is a mom of 5*. We took some pics and went to get some refreshments and they were good :) Lots of fruits and water it was the best day. I feel like I have been refreshed after that walk and a long talk with my leader, I am aware of what I was doing wrong and I am ready to make it right again! Wish me luck ;) I am going to slap that old me in the face and get back into the right frame of mind, I have to remember that this weight loss is like that 5K hard, long, tiring but damn sure worth every step and there is going to be a finish line if I just keep walking :) I am so grateful for a friend like Nikki, I am grateful for all my support. I will end this with a pic of us at the finish line, and yes we always look that damn good ;) Thanks for reading and this time I mean it until next Sat~
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
So I have not been in the blogging mood, I am sure it is because in all honesty I am sure it is because I have not been following the plan like I should be :( I am not sure what got into me, I mean I was all ready Freddy and really it seemed that I was made for this program and then all of a sudden I started to get that feeling like "you got this, you can handle eating and not tracking every single thing" BIG MISTAKE! I have been up 3.8lbs lost 3 just to turn around and gain 2.8 back, what the heck?
Well I mean it ain't that hard to figure out I am sure it has something to do with the 8 pack of fun size snickers that I had or maybe the late night Keebler Club cracker binges I went on or hell maybe the lack of exercise, I have a feeling that all of the above could have something to do with it.
Well I have to tell you I went to my meeting last weekend and I did my weigh in and because it was the walk-it challenge day I wanted to keep up a brave face, I wanted to be happy I wanted to be ready to walk and prove that I could finish a 5K because god knows I had never tried one in the past, but to be honest in my heart I was crying, yelling and insulting myself, WHY WHY WHY and HOW HOW HOW could I let myself do this I was on a role, I was moving and shaking, I was changing, I mean I was the life of the party, I was the one who was going through with no problem, yeah that was me but here I was again, fat, tired, angry sad and even more so ashamed ASHAMED! I was again me the me I know the me I don't love the me who can not just eat one because that makes sense nooooo I have to have 9 because that just taste better and then they are gone and I don't have to see them again. What a shame, What a shame. Well I walked the 5K, I walked it with one of my favorite people and the whole time my mind was on the fact that I was back to square one in my mind, back to super fat and super stupid me, I could not focus on the fact that while I was beating myself up I was walking, walking and yup more walking! Nikki was so great she was looking back and offering me lots of encouragement, praise and she would even slow down so this big person could keep up, she was my legs, she was my cheerleader, she was my friend because god knows I was not being a friend to myself. Well I pushed on, I thought about the fact that I was almost 400lbs and here I was walking, I thought about the fact that I would rather drop dead at the finish line then to be the last one done, the fact that Nikki was there and she was not going to finish without me, I wanted to cry because the truth was I wanted to stop walking I wanted to stop and take a break I wanted to stop at the damn half way point and drink some water and get my barrings, I mean I could have and she would have understood because that is how she is, but I did not want to give myself one more thing to say that I did NOT do, so on I went. Half way let me tell you felt like the whole damn way, I am almost certin that it was over half! lol! But we passed it and I watched my chance at rest go away, moving on..........I remember when we made it back to the street we started on and Nikki said to me, see we are almost done you are doing so good, I wanted to tell her that I could not walk another step but she was smiling and talking about anything but that damn walk so I shut-up and I acted like I was listening (sorry Nik) inside I was thinking FINISH LINE PLEASE! So we started to approach the finish line and they were waiting there with the sign and Nikki says come one lets just jog through and so we did and I felt like a weight was off me, I was so tired I was so sore and I was so happy, WE DID IT! She was the best thing to me at that point someone who wanted to see me do it more then I wanted to, she believed in me and I did not, she was like a proud mama *she ought to know she is a mom of 5*. We took some pics and went to get some refreshments and they were good :) Lots of fruits and water it was the best day. I feel like I have been refreshed after that walk and a long talk with my leader, I am aware of what I was doing wrong and I am ready to make it right again! Wish me luck ;) I am going to slap that old me in the face and get back into the right frame of mind, I have to remember that this weight loss is like that 5K hard, long, tiring but damn sure worth every step and there is going to be a finish line if I just keep walking :) I am so grateful for a friend like Nikki, I am grateful for all my support. I will end this with a pic of us at the finish line, and yes we always look that damn good ;) Thanks for reading and this time I mean it until next Sat~
fatgirlsaywhat~V!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Neg. thoughts = Neg. Actions but the flip side of that is that positive thoughts= positive actions!
Hi everyone:
So I have not posted in a while, and that is for a couple of different reasons. First off I just did not feel like I had a lot to talk about, I was feeling ashamed of my weight gain, 2 weeks ago I gained 3.8lbs.. That has NEVER happen to me and I felt like a fool. I know that a lot of it was water weight and all but I also know that I did not control my eating, I used my period as an excuse to eat what I wanted, and eat lots of it. That did not help me out at all. I was just in all honesty wanting to eat, I wanted to eat what I wanted and even though I did TRACK I still ate like a monster, well I suffered from that, so that is what I get.
When I went to WW on that Sat, I did not think that I would be up that much, even though I knew that I would have some gain, so when I saw it I was like what the?! I don't know why I was so shocked, I mean I know that I I ate the food I know that I did not work out so why the hell was I so damned shocked????? IDK! I think it was because I was just breezing through the program I mean I had not had a gain higher then .8lbs I was feeling like I had this all under control, boy was I wrong!
I am happy that I had this happen to me though because it showed me that I am not "in control" of myself at all. I need to watch what I eat and I need to make sure to track all of it and I need to stay within my points and workout.
I have accepted this and I am moving on and I am moving in the direction that will get me to success :)
Weigh in last week was good for both Nikki and me, we are both back on track and I was down 3lbs :) that was what I was up and I plan of reaching my 10% VERY soon. This weekend is the Walk-It Challenge for WW a 5k, I have NEVER done one before but I am going to on Sat. I am nervous and self-doubting, but I have something that is WAY stronger then my own self doubt and that is support, I will make it and I will make it with my P.I.C!
So I will be updating all about it afterwards on Sat.
I will leave ya with some pics: I don't have my weight chart right here but I will tell you that I am at 387.2lbs for a total lost of 36.2 lbs almost there.......................and here is a pic of me and my P.I.C on a bus trip
So I have not posted in a while, and that is for a couple of different reasons. First off I just did not feel like I had a lot to talk about, I was feeling ashamed of my weight gain, 2 weeks ago I gained 3.8lbs.. That has NEVER happen to me and I felt like a fool. I know that a lot of it was water weight and all but I also know that I did not control my eating, I used my period as an excuse to eat what I wanted, and eat lots of it. That did not help me out at all. I was just in all honesty wanting to eat, I wanted to eat what I wanted and even though I did TRACK I still ate like a monster, well I suffered from that, so that is what I get.
When I went to WW on that Sat, I did not think that I would be up that much, even though I knew that I would have some gain, so when I saw it I was like what the?! I don't know why I was so shocked, I mean I know that I I ate the food I know that I did not work out so why the hell was I so damned shocked????? IDK! I think it was because I was just breezing through the program I mean I had not had a gain higher then .8lbs I was feeling like I had this all under control, boy was I wrong!
I am happy that I had this happen to me though because it showed me that I am not "in control" of myself at all. I need to watch what I eat and I need to make sure to track all of it and I need to stay within my points and workout.
I have accepted this and I am moving on and I am moving in the direction that will get me to success :)
Weigh in last week was good for both Nikki and me, we are both back on track and I was down 3lbs :) that was what I was up and I plan of reaching my 10% VERY soon. This weekend is the Walk-It Challenge for WW a 5k, I have NEVER done one before but I am going to on Sat. I am nervous and self-doubting, but I have something that is WAY stronger then my own self doubt and that is support, I will make it and I will make it with my P.I.C!
So I will be updating all about it afterwards on Sat.
I will leave ya with some pics: I don't have my weight chart right here but I will tell you that I am at 387.2lbs for a total lost of 36.2 lbs almost there.......................and here is a pic of me and my P.I.C on a bus trip
Friday, May 6, 2011
What a long week!
So I thought I would take a min and post, tomorrow is weigh in and at this point I would rather stab my eyes out then go to weigh in tomorrow. I have not had a good food week at all. I mean I have been being OVER indulgent in my food choices and not thinking twice about it. I have not had one good thing to eat this week. Ugh..........Whatever! I am PISSED at myself I am feeling like a loser and I am wishing I would not have had the food I had this week :I Anyway this is a warning that tomorrow I will NOT have anything good to post. I am sorry for being a fuck up this week, I am sorry to anyone who reads this and feels like I am for whatever crazy reason helping them. I am sorry that I did not care about me enough this week to make good food choices and to workout. BLAH! New week new attitude, I will be better next week.
Until then thanks guys!
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Until then thanks guys!
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
I beat you Easter Foods and Candy's I BEAT YOU! HA HA HA HA!
~**Good Morning**~
Hey,
So yesterday was weigh-in, and I was really nervous because I had eaten good over the holiday and I was eating lots of candy anyway, I was thinking that because I had stop exercising after Tuesday*I did 4 days off 3* I would not loose, I think I was thinking that because of the candy. DANG THAT CANDY! lol!
Anyway, I was happy to see when I got on the scale that I was down 2.8lbs :) I could not believe it! 37lbs gone WOW! I have a hard time believing that I lost it because it has not really felt like work, I mean don't get me wrong, I feel like I sometimes want to eat EVERYTHING, but for the most part it has been very wonderful. I am really proud of myself and I look forward to continued loss.
I am keeping this short because I am tired but I will add more to it during the week.
Shout out to Nikki, you go girl!!!!!!!! Staying positive!
until next time thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Hey,
So yesterday was weigh-in, and I was really nervous because I had eaten good over the holiday and I was eating lots of candy anyway, I was thinking that because I had stop exercising after Tuesday*I did 4 days off 3* I would not loose, I think I was thinking that because of the candy. DANG THAT CANDY! lol!
I am keeping this short because I am tired but I will add more to it during the week.
Shout out to Nikki, you go girl!!!!!!!! Staying positive!
until next time thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
The 80's were always pretty dope! 4/23/2011
Like Oh My Gawd!!
I have officially left the 90's behind and moved on to a decade that is well totally rad! The 80's!
Weigh-in was good this morning! I am down 2.4lbs and I feel good about it, when I had my weigh-in I started to think about how good I felt but not only that but how good everyone around me felt for me and it made me want to make this blog all about my fantastic support systems *lets be real though, we know I will still talk about myself, teehee*
Anyway, I am one lucky lady, I have a group of supporters that cheer for me louder then I have EVER cheered for myself, I have a family that is so Team V it is crazy, I have kids that work out with me and high five me and give me lots of praise, I have a Man that loved me 1000% at 423lbs and never once made me feel bad about being myself, never once said eh.....don't eat that, and who now refers to me as slim :) He is slightly blind! lol just kidding but he is in love with my no matter what :)
I want to talk about the group of friends I have made at my awesome Jenison Weight Watchers meeting, these ladies are so fantastic, when you go there you know they are rooting for you, sometimes more then they are for themselves it seems, the leader Dawn is Ahhhmazing! She is so funny, and helpful and very much a super supporter :) Brenda MY FAVE RECEPTIONIST EVER! Is unbelievable she is so into my progress, she has cried with me when I needed to celebrate being under 400lbs she has danced with me laughed with me and looks forward to my weigh-in every week :) I love this place, there are so many other great people there, but hell I am not about to get a hand cramp typing all of it! Just know I love them :)
Support at home with friends and family has been like a high, and I DON'T want rehab, everyone has offered me lots of kind words and praise, cheering and understanding when I did not have the best week. They are really really the best supporters :) I am lucky!
I just feel like having so many great people in my life who want to see me do well is like the best feeling, I have NEVER been so happy about myself, I am still big but damn if I don't feel skinny :) Oh side note I will NOT start dressing like it so no worries :)
So anyway because I can not help it back to me, I am kidding! But here is where I will post the pic of weigh-in sticker :)
Until Like Next Time
Thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
I have officially left the 90's behind and moved on to a decade that is well totally rad! The 80's!
Weigh-in was good this morning! I am down 2.4lbs and I feel good about it, when I had my weigh-in I started to think about how good I felt but not only that but how good everyone around me felt for me and it made me want to make this blog all about my fantastic support systems *lets be real though, we know I will still talk about myself, teehee*
Anyway, I am one lucky lady, I have a group of supporters that cheer for me louder then I have EVER cheered for myself, I have a family that is so Team V it is crazy, I have kids that work out with me and high five me and give me lots of praise, I have a Man that loved me 1000% at 423lbs and never once made me feel bad about being myself, never once said eh.....don't eat that, and who now refers to me as slim :) He is slightly blind! lol just kidding but he is in love with my no matter what :)
I want to talk about the group of friends I have made at my awesome Jenison Weight Watchers meeting, these ladies are so fantastic, when you go there you know they are rooting for you, sometimes more then they are for themselves it seems, the leader Dawn is Ahhhmazing! She is so funny, and helpful and very much a super supporter :) Brenda MY FAVE RECEPTIONIST EVER! Is unbelievable she is so into my progress, she has cried with me when I needed to celebrate being under 400lbs she has danced with me laughed with me and looks forward to my weigh-in every week :) I love this place, there are so many other great people there, but hell I am not about to get a hand cramp typing all of it! Just know I love them :)
Support at home with friends and family has been like a high, and I DON'T want rehab, everyone has offered me lots of kind words and praise, cheering and understanding when I did not have the best week. They are really really the best supporters :) I am lucky!
I just feel like having so many great people in my life who want to see me do well is like the best feeling, I have NEVER been so happy about myself, I am still big but damn if I don't feel skinny :) Oh side note I will NOT start dressing like it so no worries :)
So anyway because I can not help it back to me, I am kidding! But here is where I will post the pic of weigh-in sticker :)
Thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!
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