Welcome Back.................ME!

Heyyyyyy.............

So I know this is a little shocking because I am BACK! I have been in such a loser mood and not the kind of loser that produces weight loss either. lol! I have not been blogging since October and it is safe to say I have not been working out or eating well either.............hmmmm...........where to begin?!

              Here is what happen:
In October I started to stop going to weight watchers, it was partly because the cost and also because I stopped feeling like going. *TRUTH is closer to the second one* Then I stopped caring so much about how much I was eating, I stopped tracking and I stopped eating healthy foods, I cannot remember the last time I had an apple and that was my favorite snack. Well I gained back 10lbs since then :( I am bummed but I am also happy that before I gained back all my weight that I lost because that would have been TRAGIC!!! I was also afraid to get on the scale because I was thinking that when I finally did I would see that dreaded number again 400 :( I think that would have killed me. I was avoiding the scale, I was overeating, I was avoiding WW, I was smoking cigarettes and I was just a damn hot mess........What the heck?! 

Now  before I continue I do want to share good news, I did in that time find a wonderful job that I love so much, it is a great place for me and I am happy. Now back to the other stuff:: 
Realizing the truth:
Have you ever known something but pretended to be completely stupid so that you did not have to recognize it? Well I do and I did. LOL! I was just saying that I was not gaining any weight, I was not feeling like working out I was just not doing anything, I was just a freaking mess, mess mess mess......YIKES! So I was in the midst of sitting and eating and I said to myself, I swear I am going to get back on track.........well I was like I am going to do it yada yada, well then my friend was like lets meet at the gym and I PROMISED her I was going to sooooo I was like shit, I better. Well I went to meet her and I worked out and I had a feeling come over me that was one that I had felt before, it was a feeling of accomplishment and I liked that feeling. The next day I was super sore and I did not like that feeling but I knew it was a good thing, I said that is it, I am ready, I threw out the cigarettes and I said I am about to get started and soooooo this morning I went in and I started on the bike, now when I started on the bike I was like OMG my legsssss......they hurt but I pushed through and did 2 and a half miles, then I went and did some weight lifting, afterward I decided that I needed to speak to someone about what I should be doing and I decided that I would start working out with a personal trainer. SOOOooooo I started some of that today and she has told me that we will go every other day and next week I would feel the burn...............SCARY!!!!! I am looking forward to getting going and getting back on track because I am ready to lose again and I am ready to work my butt off well maybe my front lol, I don't have much ass to that I can afford to loose :) 

Sooooo until next week thanks for reading 
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!!!

 

Whoaaaa...........I fell off!

Hey everyone:

So I completely fell off. I stopped tracking stopped working out stopped caring about WW! BIG MISTAKE! I gained about 5lbs, I feel like a goof! I mean I know that I have a long way to go and I also know that I have come a long way but for whatever reason I just stopped feeling like being on the plan. Here is the gist: 

So back in September Nikki told me that she was going to have to take a break from WW for her own personal reasons, right away I started to think in my head "Oh shit, I cannot do this without her" well I just was looking for a good excuse and that was as good as any, so I was off and running *not really* lol!   Well I started to say stupid things to myself like "oh you lost 50lbs" yada yada, so I was thinking I understand the plan, I can kind of go through the day and just "watch" what I am eating. Hmmmpphhhh...........That did not work, partly because you cannot watch what you are eating without tracking and MOSTLY because I also decided to "relax" on working out. Now I am not sure why the hell I would assume that I could not workout, this is the part that I am most unsure of lol! So anyway I started to not workout I kept saying in my head, well you can just get back to it next week so on and so on, Well Weigh-In started to feel like a chore to me, I was dreading going and I was just being a total crab cake. Well I feel like my mood was another part of my lack of success, I mean the other two things did not help but I really feel like my lack of care for myself made it that much more worse. I was not wanting to be apart of the meetings because I did not want to accept responsibility for my actions. Annnnyyyyyyywaaayyyyy lets fast forward to yesterday, I knew when I went in I was going to be up, so my reaction was almost comic like, so I get to the meeting, I was late! I go in and I see Brenda and she is in a good mood but because I am being a BITCH I am all kinds of crabby so I get on the scale and it is up 2.2lbs so I am like I am outta here, I left. I was in my car and I was sitting there and I was really thinking to myself, "You should go to Arby's" then I said boy you are really stupid, I mean I am mad because I gained but I am going to go eat, I laughed about that, then I said I look crazy sitting here laughing to myself, so I said I am going to go to the gym, I mean I have been paying for it EVERY month and I had been just letting it sit there well I drove myself to Fitness 19 and I jumped on the bike and rode 12.60 miles I lifted 90lbs for 3 reps of 12 and I FELT great :) Then this morning I got up and I said I am making my way to the gym before I do anything else and I went and I did 10 miles ;) I feel so good, I am tracking tracking and measuring and I feel so good, I am feeling like I am ready to be back on track and here I am back to my blog, I am sorry for slacking but I am happy to have that bad set back because I needed to get myself together, I want to be at 75lbs by Jan 8th 2012 :) I am going to be great and I am ready to make that happen :)

Until Next Time,

Thanks for reading

fatgirlsaywhat~

V!

50 is Nifty!

Hey all ;) 

I know I have been being so lazy when it comes to blogging, I don't think it is because I don't want to as much as I really have not had much to say! SHOCKER! But even I run out of things to talk about...............BUT SUCH IS NOT THE CASE THIS WEEK :)
 

Let me just do a quick update: The month of August had been so crazy, I started off on a sour note with gains and lack of motivation and then I got into the groove and I started to loose again, and then out of nowhere I gained 5.8lbs in one week! HOLY SHIT! Alright, I am posting pics with this and they are backwards, I assume everyone can figure it out ;) Anyway after this gain I was like well no biggie because I was going to get my stupid lady time, and so I assume that was the problem, also Mary and I had done Spin class *CRAZY IDEA* and also started Zumba with the wonderful ladies from WW and so I had also thought it could be muscle, well I am almost convince that my whole stomach might be a GIGANTIC 20 pack :) LOL! Not really! So anyway, I was not upset at this point because I had about 5 good reasons for gains, well when I went home I realized that I was indeed upset, but I did not realize it until after the fact, I came home and I started my "it's my period" so I can eat a whole chocolate person if I feel like it crap, so I did! Middle of the night Swiss cake rolls, nutty bars, crackers (they are not even chocolate) and brownies. FREAKING Little Debbie. At this point I was still on my period so this was "alright". I was even saying it is not a big deal because of this. Well next Saturday came and I was doing the "I don't even care about this week" attitude because I knew that I ate what I wanted, I did do Zumba though :) So I was giving myself props for that. Get to weigh-in, and GUESS WHAT I was up! Here is a pic. it was like .4 but either way it was up!

So here I had went from being at this point where I was at a weight I had not seen since before Charleigh was born to being back at 59 points plus values. I felt like a loser and not in the way I wanted too. So I was like I am going to get my shit together and I am going to get down to where I need to be again. Well I did KINDA! I knew that I was bloated *this was a fact* I mean it WAS! so that was in my favor, but I also knew that I had to pipe down on the food and pipe up on the tracking, I mean really how the hell am I going to get to my goal * I don't really have one but I know I am not there* with this behavior. So anyway, I got back on the wagon and this week it proved to be a good trip! Here is my new  sticker :) I am officially smaller then I was when I got knocked up with Charleigh ;) Hehe! I weigh 373.4lbs That is 50lbs guys 50LBS! I can not believe it :) I got my key charm, but the best feeling is my girls from my group, they make me feel like a rockstar,I have never felt so much love and excitement for me in my life :) I love them all so much and love sharing my success with them so much :) I could NOT do it without these women and men *there are two of them that are there on a reg.* So anyway that is that here is the new sticker and a pic of all my 5lb stars :) I am happy as a prostitute on payday! lol!

PS: My birthday is coming up :) Almost 30! I can not WAIT to be 30!

Until next time *it will be sooner then later*
thanks for reading fatgirlsaywhat~
V!