Countdown to bypass...........Day 1

So I know I have not posted in a long time..........

Here is what has been going on in my life. I have gained back about 20lbs of the 55lbs that I lost through weight watchers. To say that I am disappointed in myself is a gigantic understatement. I did not EVER think that I would gain back the weight, I mean really I did not. I am sure that everyone can relate to thinking that you will not gain back weight. So how do you go from losing and being in control and knowing what you need to do, to eating king size kit kats and smoking AGAIN! :( 

Well here is how that happens. I stopped ww, not because I did not believe in the program, because I do. It was because I was not financially able to continue to pay for it. Anyway, I was going to try to keep up my weight loss, but I had a lot of personal problems happen in my life, I began to go back to old habits of eating to comfort myself. Well that did not help and I gained and gained. I feel and felt like a failure. 

Today: 

Here I am now, I started the process of getting bypass in Jan, I have had to do a few things to get here, and yesterday I was told that I will have the surgery on August 27th in Zeeland. I am VERY excited and nervous. I have some fears. I am going to work on them with continued therapy and hopefully with my blog. The first thing I want to talk about is my fears, What will happen when I get the surgery? How will I look? Will I still know myself? These are some of the things I am worried about. Feel free to share you opinion good or bad with me.

I am so scared of who I will become, I mean I like who I am just with a couple of gliches. I don't want to become someone I don't know. Will I be self centered? I am afraid that I will get so full of myself. I have to remember that is not the kind of person that I am but the fear is still there. 

Anyway, my goal is to each day talk about one thing that I am looking forward too and one that I am scared of and how I will try to change that. I would love to hear feed back from everyone. I am also going to talk about me not smoking and eating junk and where that is going. I am going to try my very best to stay focused and continue to work on the worries. 

Thanks for coming back:

XoXo-

Valencia 

Week 1 of being back complete ;)

Heyyyyy............

So I started back to the gym last week and I must say I am really happy that I did! I feel so good when I leave. I cannot believe that I let myself forget how good it feels to move. Well I will not harp on that, I will just keep moving forward. 

Today: 

I went to the gym this morning a little later than I like too because it was my first day with the trainer. I was happy that my friend was able to go with me as well. Well when we started out it was a little sore on my arms but as we got into it I just started to really enjoy it. I have a lot of work to do but I also have a lot of time to do it, I am not in a race so I have to keep that in mind. I did weigh in and I was the same weight as last week :( but I am not going to fret because I know that will start to change and believe me when it does you will know about it :) 

Thinking: 

So I have been approved to have Gastric Bypass and at first I was like HELL YEAH! I was thinking it was a way to get a large amount of weight off and then workout and get in shape, I started to think in my head that my work was done because I was lucky enough to have to surgery. I started to become so lazy and just do NOTHING and I mean nothing. I was eating and making excuses and then I found out that it is not just a walk in and have the surgery done kind of situation. I would still have to work hard and I would still have to change things. It was in fact no quick fix, so I started to feel even worse and then one thing led to another and I stopped caring, WELLLLLL I am over that and I am back in my right frame of mind, as far as the surgery goes, I have decided that I still want it, I need that extra help, I know I am doing it for me and I know that in my  lifetime I want to do so many things, I want to run and the number one thing I want to do is take a hike with my kids! I know that this is possible with hard work and I am going to get there.................trust me, soon enough you will see me with pics and a hiking stick :) 

Thank you so much for reading~

Fatgirlsaywhat!

Until next week~

V!

A quick post

Hey,

I just wanted to quick post that I forgot how good working out makes you feel, I am so happy I am getting back on track.

I will post a weekly update on Wednesday after the trainer :)