Hey ya'll!
So here we are June 25th, we went to weigh-in this morning I have to say right off top it was not the most successful weigh in of my life. Before I go on let me go back.
Last week Saturday I did not gain or lose I just stayed the same. I was happy about that because I was like well at least I maintained. YADA YADA! Anyway I was not feeling one way or the other I was just going to go on about my week. I started out completly WRONG I was not tracking like I should have been, I did not write down everything I ate on Saturday and to add fuel to the fire or butter to the pancakes, whatever you pleasure, I went out drinking with my two besties! Oh Saturday, of course after the bar I ate a blueberry donut and then the next day was Father's Day and lets just say that I did not track then either.............This went on for the rest of the week, I went to Maggie Moo's, Taco Bell, Burger King, Chinese and Arby's. I guess it is safe to say I was not starving. lol! Anyway here we are at Saturday. I got on the scale after telling myself I would NOT weigh-in, I could not bring myself to not do it, I would have felt like an even bigger loser if I did not. So anyway I get weighed in and I gained 4 lbs :( I was not shocked, but I was and am VERY DISAPPOINTED in myself. I know in my heart I really want this I want it so bad, but sometimes it is so hard for me to be in control of the person inside of me, who say's give up, stop trying and hey look at that cake! She is alive and she is still got a lot of life in her, she can make me feel like a million bucks or 1/2 penny, I know that the person inside me that I used to be is trying so hard to get back in control of me of my life, I just have to figure out a way to have fun and celebrate life without food. I need to stop thinking about how hard this is and start thinking about how hard it is to be so big and how it feels to no love yourself. I know what I need to do and this week I will be back and I will be better. Or at least healthier :)
