2 sides to every blog! 2/26

Well today is not my best day! Weigh-in for me was not good, I gained .8lbs I am sad! I cried to my mommy about it and she really made me feel better about it, I mean I have come a good distance from where I was, I was 19 lbs heavier and I was eating like a fool I was out of breath more then now and I was un-happy! So I have a lot of was going on. Even though I have these things that I am proud of I just can not get over the fact that I still gained. On my ride home from the meeting I tried to think of all the things that I did wrong: I mean we ate out a lot, I did not walk enough, I stayed within points but I was not within the best food choices. I was not wanting to do anything this past week, I just was lazy and tired, and really not being 100%! At the meeting today there was a quote up that said "If you kinda work the program it kinda works, and if you really work the program it really works" SO TRUE! Because I was lazy! That is just true. I will be better next week :) MOVING ON:

~**Congratulations Nikki**~
I am so proud of her, she made it too her 5% and I am just overjoyed for her. She was very humble about it because she was worried about me and my numbers but like I told her lets celebrate you are at 5% she got her 5% sticker and got to sign the board! I love ya Nikki you are doing well! 

On a good note about me! I feel physically good and I have a pic posted of some change I made :) Check it out on my blog!

Weigh in Tomorrow, Nervous then a mutha................What!

So tomorrow is weigh in and it is more important tomorrow to me then in past weeks. Nikki and I have a chance too both get to our 5% tomorrow and I am hoping that we get to celebrate it together. I don't think it will be as exciting if we don't do it at the same time, but whatever happens I will be alright! 

This week has been good, I don't feel like I was "out of control" I made all the food choices I wanted and I did NOT use my emotions to guide me. I was in point range everyday except 1 and I went over by 7! I mean I know that I could have just passed on the thing that took me over but I did not so I will not go on about it. 

Something I was thinking about was that I am not sure if anyone else feels like this but whenever I eat something no matter what I feel like I just gained 100 lbs, I mean I just feel like I gained back what I lost. I know it is not true but I am just saying that is what it feels like. I often feel better after I workout and then I feel like a "loser" again! 

10,000 Step Challenge:

I started this yesterday and it consist of you trying to get in 10,000 steps everyday it is sponsored by Fifth Third Bank and at the end of the challenge they will host a HUGE 5k race. The program says that if you are not a normal walker or on the go person you should just strive to get in as close to 10,000 that you can. I have never in my life thought about all the steps we take everyday in life, I mean if you go to the bathroom, kitchen, door etc. it all adds up! I was like in the words of Kevin Bacon "Jump Back" so far today I have stepped 1,256 steps, I just took off the pedometer that they provided because I am going to have to find a new place to hold it, I kept resetting it :(  I am thinking that I will get the kind that you wear like a watch, maybe I will buy that when I hit 30lbs. I think I will :) Mark my words 5+ friends :) I will get a new handy dandy watch pedometer :) 

So I am going to do some wii boxing and watch The Lion King with Charleigh and just look forward to tomorrow :) 

Thanks for reading~

fatgirlsaywhat~

V!

"Hey there good lookin"

Alright, so it is Thursday. 1 and a half days until weigh-in! How do I feel you ask............well you didn't but I will imagine that you did :) So to answer the unanswered question I feel lighter! I really do :) I am going to fill this blog with what I will call "fatgirlsay........Victory?".

Things that have changed for me in the last 8 weeks:

• I am lighter (duh) 19.8lbs lighter, I mean that is the average 1 year old ;) Pump it up yall! 

• - I am happier then I have ever been with me.

• -I am putting on my shoes and I am still able to breathe and I am bending over all at the same time, damn! 

• -I am smarter, WW has taught me so many things, some I knew and did not want to accept the information and others I was able to gain. 

• -I have new things, I STOPPED rewarding my goodness with food, and that is one thing that I feel damn good about.

• -I am someone who does not break out in mass upset when I hear the word "walk, diet, low-fat" I almost welcome them. 

• - I am accepting, I know Rome was not built in a day (Well I don't for a fact, but lets just take their word for it) and I will not be healthy in a day, I know that this is a life long process and thank goodness I don't have to many things more important then my health to worry about. 

• -One of my all time favorite things that has happened to me is my friendship with my PIC (Nikki, soon to be skinny bitch) I mean she was the driving force behind me going to WW and not only does she share meetings with me, she listens to my crazy ass antic's each week. I am so happy to add someone else to my already beautiful and perfect BFF list :) 

I am not sure that I will never slip again I mean hell I know I will want to eat something "bad" again and I will and I will either do it or not but I will know how to handle accept and move on from it! 

I am really almost sick of my happy self! lol Just Kidding.

Thanks for reading 5+ fans  you guys rock my socks!

fatgirlsaywhat~

V!

I know I already posted today but I just need too again!

Rejection! What does that do to you? How does it make you feel? Does it make or break your day?

I am suffering right now from rejection, I will not go into details as this is a very public blog, but I will say that I am feeling rejected. Because of this I started to think about how rejection plays a part in my life.

When I was younger it was a big deal not to feel rejected or "left out" and now even in my adult life I find that I am still very much the same. What can rejection do to me now? How can it make me feel? Can it make me choose to feel sorry enough for me that I go and do the one thing that has NEVER rejected me? Will I eat? I mean that is what I am most comfortable with, what has always been a best friend, boyfriend, sibling or even enemy to me. I will not, not today because I will rather take the time to sit here and think about this.
I wonder how many times in life I have felt rejection and choose to eat something. I would guess about 300+ times. I am not sure why I am like this, I mean for the most part I know that I have a lot of good quality's about me, and I know that how I feel about me is what is the most important thing. So I wonder how come it is so hard to believe? Why is it that we (maybe you IDK) allow ourselves to be 100% alright with feeling like a loser? not good enough and just down right blah? Well I don't know but what I do know is that it is not going to continue to be a problem for me because I am uncovering secrets about me, deep ones some dark ones, some that like 1 doz cookies even LOL! I am alright, I am not rejected because I would NEVER reject me and as long as I keep remembering that I will never feel like this again, and to be honest I don't feel like that anymore, I feel like this: Good because I came in here and I blogged, I stopped and thought and took control of my mind and made a decision and I am alright with it. :) This just made me feel good. I hope that someone reads this and feels like I make some sense maybe you feel the same way sometimes, maybe all the time either way I thank you for reading! So until next time I promise not again today!
Thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
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A lesson learned is a lesson earned :) I juat made that up! lol ;) 2/20/11

Good Morning five people who read this ;) LOL! 

So I had a WONDERFUL weekend! It was my baby's 11th birthday and I have to tell you nothing makes me more happy then getting together with family and friends and really when it is friends like these it is just all family anyway <3

So anyway to the blog:

Yesterday morning was weigh-in! I will start with Mrs. Nikki, can I just tell you this lady is on the way to being a skinny bitch :) She is on the lowest possible pts and I am DAMN proud of her, I think she had *can't remember, I am 29 lol* over 2 & 1/2 lb lost. WhoooooWeeee *country voice* I am most proud of her ability to accept and deal with all of her weight loss be it a victory or a struggle :) YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!! lol ;) Love you! 

To me: I hate talking about myself! lol! That is what you call sacasim, anywho: So first off I want to say that I was very SHOCKED :O that I had a loss at all, I mean I am sure that you five read about my cookie outbreak! Anyway, I don't EVER want to have that happen to me again, and to be honest I learned from the outbreak. I am not ever going to be the kind of person that can just pass up a sweet, I love them I mean I would almost be tempted to marry these damn cookie's. I am also aware that I am a "when the going gets tough" believer, I can say that I am afraid of success, I am afraid of continued weight-loss, and that fear is because I am afraid of being a disappointment, not just too me but too everyone that has invested time in rooting for me. It has always been easy for me to stay in that old body * I mean I am down almost 20 so I will call it in old body* I can just eat and feel sorry for myself and blame my situation on whatever or I can be in charge of myself and in charge of my eating and say NO cookies, No cakes and I don't mean NO all the time, I mean NO I don't want a dozen cookies because I only need one, no I don't want to have 2 large pcs of cake because in fact 1 small-med pc will take care of that sweet craving and afterwards I don't have to feel like I just murdered someone! I mean because in fact I have attempted to murder someone and that is the new me, who is still new born and fragile. Life is full of lesson's some good some bad but all lesson's and I am always going to be a student when it comes to healthy living! 

So I move on, I did loose ;) SHIT YEAH! I lost 1 lb. and I am damn happy. I am down 19.8 lbs and my 5% is as close as it can be, I hope I see it next week. I want me and Nikki to celebrate our 5% together. 

So this week the goal is to continue to track, track, track, walk make good choices and love myself and I do! 

Until next time Thanks for reading!

fatgirlsaywhat~

V!