Whoaaaa...........I fell off!

Hey everyone:

So I completely fell off. I stopped tracking stopped working out stopped caring about WW! BIG MISTAKE! I gained about 5lbs, I feel like a goof! I mean I know that I have a long way to go and I also know that I have come a long way but for whatever reason I just stopped feeling like being on the plan. Here is the gist: 

So back in September Nikki told me that she was going to have to take a break from WW for her own personal reasons, right away I started to think in my head "Oh shit, I cannot do this without her" well I just was looking for a good excuse and that was as good as any, so I was off and running *not really* lol!   Well I started to say stupid things to myself like "oh you lost 50lbs" yada yada, so I was thinking I understand the plan, I can kind of go through the day and just "watch" what I am eating. Hmmmpphhhh...........That did not work, partly because you cannot watch what you are eating without tracking and MOSTLY because I also decided to "relax" on working out. Now I am not sure why the hell I would assume that I could not workout, this is the part that I am most unsure of lol! So anyway I started to not workout I kept saying in my head, well you can just get back to it next week so on and so on, Well Weigh-In started to feel like a chore to me, I was dreading going and I was just being a total crab cake. Well I feel like my mood was another part of my lack of success, I mean the other two things did not help but I really feel like my lack of care for myself made it that much more worse. I was not wanting to be apart of the meetings because I did not want to accept responsibility for my actions. Annnnyyyyyyywaaayyyyy lets fast forward to yesterday, I knew when I went in I was going to be up, so my reaction was almost comic like, so I get to the meeting, I was late! I go in and I see Brenda and she is in a good mood but because I am being a BITCH I am all kinds of crabby so I get on the scale and it is up 2.2lbs so I am like I am outta here, I left. I was in my car and I was sitting there and I was really thinking to myself, "You should go to Arby's" then I said boy you are really stupid, I mean I am mad because I gained but I am going to go eat, I laughed about that, then I said I look crazy sitting here laughing to myself, so I said I am going to go to the gym, I mean I have been paying for it EVERY month and I had been just letting it sit there well I drove myself to Fitness 19 and I jumped on the bike and rode 12.60 miles I lifted 90lbs for 3 reps of 12 and I FELT great :) Then this morning I got up and I said I am making my way to the gym before I do anything else and I went and I did 10 miles ;) I feel so good, I am tracking tracking and measuring and I feel so good, I am feeling like I am ready to be back on track and here I am back to my blog, I am sorry for slacking but I am happy to have that bad set back because I needed to get myself together, I want to be at 75lbs by Jan 8th 2012 :) I am going to be great and I am ready to make that happen :)

Until Next Time,

Thanks for reading

fatgirlsaywhat~

V!

50 is Nifty!

Hey all ;) 

I know I have been being so lazy when it comes to blogging, I don't think it is because I don't want to as much as I really have not had much to say! SHOCKER! But even I run out of things to talk about...............BUT SUCH IS NOT THE CASE THIS WEEK :)
 

Let me just do a quick update: The month of August had been so crazy, I started off on a sour note with gains and lack of motivation and then I got into the groove and I started to loose again, and then out of nowhere I gained 5.8lbs in one week! HOLY SHIT! Alright, I am posting pics with this and they are backwards, I assume everyone can figure it out ;) Anyway after this gain I was like well no biggie because I was going to get my stupid lady time, and so I assume that was the problem, also Mary and I had done Spin class *CRAZY IDEA* and also started Zumba with the wonderful ladies from WW and so I had also thought it could be muscle, well I am almost convince that my whole stomach might be a GIGANTIC 20 pack :) LOL! Not really! So anyway, I was not upset at this point because I had about 5 good reasons for gains, well when I went home I realized that I was indeed upset, but I did not realize it until after the fact, I came home and I started my "it's my period" so I can eat a whole chocolate person if I feel like it crap, so I did! Middle of the night Swiss cake rolls, nutty bars, crackers (they are not even chocolate) and brownies. FREAKING Little Debbie. At this point I was still on my period so this was "alright". I was even saying it is not a big deal because of this. Well next Saturday came and I was doing the "I don't even care about this week" attitude because I knew that I ate what I wanted, I did do Zumba though :) So I was giving myself props for that. Get to weigh-in, and GUESS WHAT I was up! Here is a pic. it was like .4 but either way it was up!

So here I had went from being at this point where I was at a weight I had not seen since before Charleigh was born to being back at 59 points plus values. I felt like a loser and not in the way I wanted too. So I was like I am going to get my shit together and I am going to get down to where I need to be again. Well I did KINDA! I knew that I was bloated *this was a fact* I mean it WAS! so that was in my favor, but I also knew that I had to pipe down on the food and pipe up on the tracking, I mean really how the hell am I going to get to my goal * I don't really have one but I know I am not there* with this behavior. So anyway, I got back on the wagon and this week it proved to be a good trip! Here is my new  sticker :) I am officially smaller then I was when I got knocked up with Charleigh ;) Hehe! I weigh 373.4lbs That is 50lbs guys 50LBS! I can not believe it :) I got my key charm, but the best feeling is my girls from my group, they make me feel like a rockstar,I have never felt so much love and excitement for me in my life :) I love them all so much and love sharing my success with them so much :) I could NOT do it without these women and men *there are two of them that are there on a reg.* So anyway that is that here is the new sticker and a pic of all my 5lb stars :) I am happy as a prostitute on payday! lol!

PS: My birthday is coming up :) Almost 30! I can not WAIT to be 30!

Until next time *it will be sooner then later*
thanks for reading fatgirlsaywhat~
V!

The Power of a Depressed Week!

Hi all :)

Today was weigh-in and I have to tell you all, I did not participate, I was not in the mood for weigh-in and it was purely because I knew that the results would suck big time.

I have had a different kind of week, My mom was sick (not an excuse) but it was worrying me, it did not worry me to eat but it was on my mind, aside from that I have been feeling really depressed this week, I am not sure what is causing this, I feel emotionally upset, like I could boohoo for no reason, this is not new for me  but I don't like it none the less, I am just having a bad week, to top things off the gift that is Mother Nature has come into my life :( STUPID!
I don't know about anyone else but I have a really hard time controlling my cravings during this time of the month. I just want to eat a whole chocolate car, I mean if I could make one that would taste good I think I would take a chance. So anyway these things have all contributed to my shitty week, also the fact that I have not done and real exercise and that I have been eating like I forgot I was on WW, I mean I am within points but I am a firm believer in if you stay within points but eat like shit it still won't make a difference, such is the case this week. BOO!
The real question is not how much can I whine about my shitty week, but what the heck I am going to do about it, well funny you should ask.
1st: I am accepting this week *I am good at that part*
2nd: I am going to ask myself to "keep it real" and stop the bullshit ass excuses, I mean if I want to eat 3 pcs of chocolate cake then I have to accept that and know that I have to work it off or deal with the outcome.
3rd: GET UP AND GET MOVING, another thing I have to stop excuse making with, I need to get my LAZY butt up and work-out, I am not going to lose by wishing, I know I TRIED! lol, I am going to Zumba this week with Mary and the rest of my wonderful friends from WW.
4th: I am going back to church, I have been in "limbo" with church but it is time that I just get back to where I know I want to be, I love church and I don't know why I stopped going, I feel like for me and I am not trying to say for anyone else but for me it makes a world of difference :)
5th: Put-up time!!!! I need to give myself some love. I need to do my hair, maybe get an outfit, maybe give myself a hug, I don't know but what I do know is I need to give it to me and I am going to give it to me good! lol!
Anyway, I hope for a better week next week and I thank you guys for reading my I feel sorry for me shitty week blog :)
until next time, thanks for reading
fatgirlsaywhat~
V!